Credits: Social Media
Men’s suicide prevention UK: Consider the side you dont see
To help the men’s suicide prevention cause in the UK, we need to understand the intimate struggles of mental health.�A lot of people suffer privately due to social stigma and this tends to affect men disproportionately.
All the worlds a stage
And all the men and women merely players.
Throughout our lives, as Shakespeares melancholy character, Jaques, said in As You Like It, each person plays many parts .�
Yes, your friend was smiling at the party. Yes, your brother just uploaded a happy snap to their social media. And yes, your colleagues professionalism means they keep it together at work.
In our public lives, it can feel like were acting but what goes on behind the scenes?
Its often at home where the full wrath of mental health problems is unleashed. Next time you sense someone is struggling, consider this: whats the side you dont see?
The wrong way out
As an ignorant teenager, I was dismissive of mental health problems. Depression, anxiety, suicide none affected or made any sense to me.
Since then, I have lost friends and family members to depression and suicide. I have also endured a years-long struggle with a bowel disease known as ulcerative colitis.
At my darkest moments, I was in an extremely poor physical condition. However, retrospectively I realise my mental health was also in tatters. My mind had become an iron-barred cell, trapped inside the inescapable prison of the human body.
Many months into treatment, I lay looking at my wrist quivering after a sleepless night. Another miserable morning of this new normal, this semi-life.
For the first time, I understood. When you are held hostage to your health, be it mental or physical, trapped in your body, it makes perfect, terrible sense. Those blue veins on your wrist tempt. There, at the surface, they offer a way out.
The side you dont see
Taking your own life is often a result of feeling theres no other way out. Sometimes reaching out can feel impossible. The result is social withdrawal, which only compounds problems.�That’s often a huge hurdle to effective suicide prevention.
Note that socially withdrawing wont necessarily change someones public behaviour. Too often, their private struggles dont align with others perception of them.
If you are known as the happy one , the strong one , or often the funny one , it is extremely difficult to admit youre not feeling like your characteristic self.
My all-time favourite example of this is in Only Fools And Horses as we get to see a side of the tough guy Del Boy that would never be outwardly visible.
It is exactly these public images we create for ourselves that make admitting something isnt right so hard. Reaching out for help can often feel like admitting youre a fraud.
This is why its important for friends and family to do the reaching out. By doing this, you can help someone get talking before their mental health problems appear insurmountable and overwhelming.�
Suicide isnt inevitable
With support, other routes can be made available and suicides prevention can be achieved. The success stories of people who came close to ending their lives and then didnt show just how important this fight is.�
If you think someone is closing off from those around them, messaging how are you? can often be ignored for fear of opening up. Instead, try the following nudges to help them stay in touch:
- Ask for their opinion on something
- Tell them you cant wait to see them
- Remind them of a time they made you laugh
- Give them a phone call
- Ask them if they want to go for a walk and a chat (this could be done over a video call)
By reaching out when you know someone is down, you show its not just their public-facing persona you value.
None of us are at our best all the time. Letting a close one know they can show you both their good and bad can massively lessen the mental burden of depression. Ultimately, it can save lives.
Thursday, 10 September is World Suicide Prevention Day. For more information and resources for help, visit the International Association for Suicide Prevention website.�
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