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How to survive a zombie apocalypse part 2: Attitude
The key nugget here is not to not be squeamish, to be ready to kill in an instant, never to drop your guard. The zombie apocalypse will reward attitude. Do not hesitate to strike.�
Rule 2: Be ready to kill
Lets take a scenario. You are two weeks into the worst month of your life (so far). Thats right – its the zombie apocalypse. Governments have tried to placate their populations, but to no avail. Citizens run amok. The ashes still smoulder in the metaphorical fire at the End of the World. You are in your kitchen.
The last 14 days have been spent, between you and your sister (or your father, mother or cousin whichever renders the simulation most vivid), in the 80 sq ft of your carpeted second floor apartment. Stocks are running low.
Yesterday, your sister (adjust accordingly) finished off the lentils without asking permission. There are no more Cup-a-Soups. You have burned your Enid Blyton collection more out of a feeling of duty to the apocalypse than because you were actually cold.
Fatigue has set in. Not the familiar fatigue of a long days driving, nor the frustrating kind you felt during overtime at the office. This is a new fatigue. It is existential, palpable and endless.
The cold truth is, youre out of grub. Its time to go foraging in the deadly unknown outside your front door.
Operation tuna sandwich
Your sister leads the mission. With a sports bag slung over each shoulder, and a baseball bat in your right hand (fortunately, you read Part 1), you approach the front door.�
Through the peephole, the hallway looks clear.
Everything goes swimmingly until you open the door. One of those smart zombies has been lingering just to the side, out of view of the fisheye lens. There was no way of knowing.
The Z plunges its gnashers into your unwitting sister. Bugger. She screams out, shes in pain. Her cries echo throughout the hallway, almost certainly attracting more unwanted attention. The zombie is working its way up her arm now in a manner grotesquely resembling courtship.�
Your sister hollers: Do it! Do it! And you know its the right thing to do. But its your sister. Youre not prepared for this. A die-hard vegetarian, killing is not in your repertoire.
Its too late. Your sister spins on her heel and lunges at you. But its not her, its a zombie. And you are its dinner.
Shouldve killed your sister — if only you’d had the right attitude.
For more information on surviving a zombie apocalypse&
Stay tuned for Part Three.
