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One mistake we all make when discussing the election with friends – from experts Credits: Social Media
By Bruno Cooke

One mistake we all make when discussing the election with friends – from experts

By Bruno Cooke

The 2024 United States presidential election is looming, which inevitably means difficult conversations are afoot for millions of Americans.

You cant help but think about which way your family members vote. We all have our reasons for preferring one candidate over the other. If youre experiencing any election-related anxiety during the lead-up to polling day on November 5, there are methods and tools you can use to manage those negative feelings. If your anxiety relates specifically to awkward election-based conversations with family members, friends, or coworkers, see if the following pointers from Grow Therapy set your mind and mental health at ease.

Tips for managing heated political discussions with family, friends, and coworkers

Two friends hanging out together
Tim Robberts/Getty

Gatherings can get heated. Friends can fall out. Relations at work can become frosty. And all because of an election. 

You might feel compelled to suppress your own beliefs to keep the peace, suggests the team of experts at Grow Therapy.

Or, on the other hand, compelled to confront family members in emotionally charged situations to stand up for what you think is right.

As a general approach, they recommend taking the following steps to minimize the risk that a heated conversation will turn into something more than it needs to be:

  1. Set boundaries. This could take the form of a collective agreement not to talk about politics at all. You could initiate this by sending out a group text, or by speaking to the people who are more likely to introduce certain topics of conversation.
  2. Know when to follow through on boundary-setting. A key part of setting boundaries is letting others know how you will respond if those boundaries are crossed. If youve made it clear that your response to a heated political discussion will be to remove yourself from the discussion, you owe it to yourself  and others  to follow through.
  3. Know your limits. Your job is not to persuade people to vote for your preferred candidate& unless you work on their campaign team. If you work on their campaign team, this article is probably not for you.
  4. Do what you need to do. Its OK to remove yourself from a social interaction altogether, especially if your doing so is consistent with your boundary-setting.
  5. Calm down healthily. We all have our methods of escaping difficult situations. Write a list of things you can do to self-soothe. That way, youll have something to refer to if you find your emotions spiraling out of control. These could include taking a hot shower, calling a particular friend, or drinking a cup of cocoa.

The mistake we all make when talking about elections with friends

This came up in the 5-step list above, but its a trap worth highlighting because weve all fallen into it.

Changing other peoples minds is not your responsibility. Nor is it your job  unless, you know, it is. 

In heated debates, Grow Therapy explains, people are typically not coming from a place of wanting to be open-minded or understanding.

More likely, theyre just trying to get their opinion out  and chances are, your voice is probably not going to overpower their deep-seated beliefs and all the media they ingest.

You are not in charge of having to teach them or get them to come to a different side. Protect your peace. Ask yourself, is it worth your energy?

If this approach makes you feel powerless, consider other things you can do that might make you feel like you’re making a difference. For those with disposable income, this could mean donating to a local initiative. You might try canvassing for your party of choice, or a specific candidate. Volunteer your time at a local charity, or simply visit friends and relatives you haven’t seen in a long time.

These are all ways you can make a difference in your community without creating opportunities for conflict.

Grow Therapy is an online platform that connects therapists and people looking for them. It started life in 2020. Read Healthlines review of the platform here.