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Therapist says she knows when her clients lie to her almost every single time
Humans lie – it’s a universal fact. To what degree it’s acceptable to tell lies is subjective, but one place you don’t want to do this is in therapy.
There’s no denying that everybody hides or manipulates the truth at some point in their lives. A study shows that men tend to lie more than women to benefit themselves. However, you can’t get away with it while seeing a therapist.
Therapists know when the client lies
Licensed therapist Steph was asked by a follower – what do I do if I can tell a client is lying about how they’re feeling? This prompted her to explain what she would do.
Even though therapy is generally considered a safe space to share your genuine emotions and feelings, it’s not uncommon for clients to deceive the therapist with their versions of the truth.
This may occur when someone doesn’t go to therapy out of their own accord and has been forced into it. Even cheaters and manipulators may lie to the therapist’s face to avoid being held accountable for their actions.
But they don’t get away with it. Steph says, she almost always knows when one of her clients is lying to her and her response solely depends on the therapeutic relationship they share. “If it’s a client that I know really well and we have a strong bond, I can usually tell when they’re lying,” says Steph.
Just because you aren’t called out for lying doesn’t mean the mental health professional was fooled for taking you at face value. However, the lying client will be the one to benefit less from the session.
How she responds
If Steph shares a strong therapist-client relationship with the person she believes is lying about their feelings, she calls them out, although “gently.”
She may proceed to say: “Is this how you really feel?” or “Hmm, that’s not sitting right with me.” As a professional, she makes it known to her client that she is aware of their lying.
However, her response wouldn’t be the same if she’s just started seeing a client. “Maybe I can tell that somebody is not being truthful about something. I normally won’t say anything,” she says.
Why, you ask? Well, she explains that their lies must be driven by a reason or behavior. “Behaviors just don’t show up out of nowhere,” says Steph. However, some clients have admitted to lying in the later stages of therapy.
When a client opens up about their past lies, she appreciates their honesty and vulnerabilities, while trying to understand the reason they lied in the first place.
Steph is a licensed therapist and Masters level Registered Social Worker and founder of The Healing Hive Therapy Co. She holds Masters of Clinical Social Work from The University of Calgary with a specialization in trauma-informed care. She identifies herself as a “therapist for Millennials and Gen Z.”
