Credits: Social Media
The many challenges of Valentine’s Day as a polyamorous trio
Like many other areas of the relationship experience, Valentines Day can look very different for polyamorous couples.
Despite interest seemingly waning in the holiday of love and affection, millions of couples each year celebrate in their own unique ways. Some choose to spend the day at home, while others enjoy a night out on the town or a fancy candle-lit dinner. And if you really love your partner, you might be one of the cheesy 10% popping the question on February 14.
In the hopes of shedding some light their polyamorous experience, The Focus caught up with Rebecca, Karla, and Alex (@morethan2love).
Introducing Rebecca, Karla & Alex
In pop culture, Valentines Day morning is often depicted as the best time to surprise your partner with breakfast in bed, a horde of balloons, or a reason to immediately hop in the shower. For our resident throuple, the morning usually starts with individual and group kisses.
We usually start our day like any other day. Shower, eat breakfast & get ready for the day, Rebecca told us. And we usually surprise one another later in the day.
The big night
Rebecca, Karla, and Alex are currently in Mexico together, no doubt making the 14th much more special. But holidaying as a non-monogamous couple definitely comes with its own unique challenges, as they documented in a recent Instagram post.
They wrote: And being in an all-inclusive resort traditionally built for COUPLES has not left much room for our THROUPLE to be celebrated in the same light as monogamous relationships.
While they felt incredibly isolated by experiences that outright forbid them to take part in, the throuple were lucky enough to find a venue for a special Valentines night treat.
They explained: This year we each have surprises for one another & have a lovely dinner at a local hotel restaurant thats hosting a 5-course dinner. And we were lucky enough to be able to book it for 3!
Expensive holiday
Like most other modern-day holidays, Valentines Day has become a capitalist daydream, with the industry worth a staggering 26 billion U.S. dollars in 2024. With the average American splashing out $175.41 on the holiday, its reasonable to assume that the bills can quickly add up with a third person.
Luckily, Rebecca, Karla & Alex have found their own way of doing things, emphasizing thoughtful presents more than expensive.
Last year we did flower, an edible arrangement & dinner at home. We also exchanged Valentines Day cards, Rebecca continued. We do give gifts to one another. Sometimes weve done group gifts, and other times individual gifts. But we always try to get something on the thoughtful side more than simply something expensive.
Its also important for them to acknowledge each persons individuality, buying them presents and giving them experiences that relate their uniqueness.
Valentines Day comes with its challenges, but its worth it
Rebecca told us that like monogamous relationships, a polyamorous Valentines Day comes with its own hurdles to overcome.
She said: Sometimes it’s hard because society makes this holiday for couples and its hard to find things that are inclusive of 3. Simply finding even Valentine’s cards can be hard as its always monogamous-themed. But we make custom items or create things ourselves & always find ways to honor our relationship.
Rebecca, Karla, and Alex also hope to grow their polycule , which is an umbrella term for various involved couples, individuals, and connections. That too will bring its own challenges, but its all worth it for Rebecca.
They said: I am a huge fan of this holiday because as a polyamorous Instagram influencer, I talk about love all day, every day! And this one time of year everyone is as obsessed with LOVE as I am. I just love love.
