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Sticking to your reality takes power away from players, says relationship coach
Dating is always tricky. You wouldn’t know who you are dealing with unless some obvious signs start to surface.
Bad daters, such as players and emotionally unavailable men or women are notorious for stringing you along. While you can’t always avoid such encounters, you sure can get out of one.
How to take power away from players
If you find yourself attracted to a player and it’s hard to walk away from them, British dating coach Matthew Hussey has some useful advice to evade them forever.
Often, people who are attracted to players tend to idolize them and buy every lie they sell. The person you’re dating may avoid social interactions because they are “anxious”, may use past trauma as the reason not to take the next step, or simply use the classic excuse: “Right person wrong time.“
Whatever the reason may be – whether it’s true or not- it isn’t your reality. It’s the other person’s narrative taking away your chance to experience what you want.
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If you are stuck with someone you think is playing you, the best advice is to focus on yourself and what you want, regardless of their issues.
It’s especially hard for an empathetic person not to buy into these excuses, making it easier for a manipulator to play their games to keep you hooked in the relationship.
“You have your reasons, but I have my reality. If my reality is what you’re giving me isn’t enough for me to be happy, then your reasons as to why that is doesn’t really matter,” Matthew explains.
Reason you attract emotionally unavailable daters
If you tend to attract the wrong partners who aren’t cut out for a healthy relationship, perhaps the issue isn’t just them. Matthew discusses different reasons some people always get played.
You could be seeking companionship, thus overlooking red flags as long as you have someone to be with. You must always weigh the pros and cons by measuring the qualities a person possesses rather than only focusing on one that serves your needs.
Some people consciously attract emotionally unavailable humans into their lives as they fear taking accountability should it not work.
Others are thrilled to date “bad boys”; they experience a rush of a sort when their efforts are validated and they become noticeable to the person they are chasing.
This is one of the biggest and most problematic reasons that keep you in a relationship with a person who will never meet your needs, but you refuse to give up on it.
Matthew Hussey is a British life coach and�YouTube�personality. He is the author of the New York Times Bestseller, Get The Guy: Learn Secrets of the Male Mind to Find The Man You Want and the Love You Deserve, and boasts several television appearances including a matchmaker role on NBCs Ready for Love.
