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Psychotherapist’s advice to stop compulsive buying as she breaks down shopping addiction
I love to shop when I don’t feel my best and it always helps me feel better. I didn’t realize it was an issue that needed to be addressed until a psychotherapist pointed it out.
Compulsive behavior is often driven by underlying emotions, regardless of what you do. Whether it’s the urge to order your comfort food or buy a pair of fancy shoes. Doesn’t matter how much you spend on acquiring these things, but the feeling itself is problematic if not acknowledged.
I found compulsive buying oddly soothing
It’s as if my brain is wired to command the rest of my body to click on “Add to Cart” when I feel low or bogged down.
For a long time, I always used to treat myself to something when I didn’t feel too good. You can say that’s the adult money talking. But, even the tiniest thing, like candy, lifted my mood instantly, as long as I bought it when the urge peaked.
Did I feel guilty later? Sure. But did I stop myself from doing it? No. When I saw my bank balance reduce to nothing days before my payday, I took a hard look at my expenses and realized I had a problem.
The Focus got in touch with psychotherapist and founder of Uncover Mental Health Counseling, Kristie Tse, for a better understanding of compulsive buying. She says emotional triggers and systemic factors are at play.
In fact, it’s a legitimate mental health condition called Oniomania. It “is often a response to emotional distress, where individuals may seek temporary solace in the act of purchasing,” Kristi explains.
Can it be treated?
Here’s the good news: compulsive buying isn’t a permanent condition, and it’s treatable with therapeutic techniques. It may seem like a task at first, but think about all the money you would save by not splurging on things that aren’t worth buying.
The psychotherapist explained that people with shopping addiction indulge in the habit while “believing that new items can fill the void.”
“The excitement of acquiring new products can create a brief emotional high, prompting repeated behaviors to chase that feeling,” she continued.
When The Focus asked Kristie how to tackle the behavioral issue, she said: “To effectively tackle these compulsive shopping habits, it is vital to delve into the emotions and triggers that drive them.”
“Therapeutic techniques, including mindfulness and healthier coping mechanisms, can promote awareness of these impulses prior to making purchases,” said the psychotherapist.
Aside from establishing a clear budget and leaning on your support system, like friends or family, it’s of utmost importance to “reframe the belief that happiness comes from possessions.” Kristie says you need to foster a “deeper sense of self-esteem that is independent of material acquisition.”
Kristie Tse is a licensed psychotherapist and founder of Uncover Mental Health Counseling with specializations in generational trauma, racial trauma, anxiety, addiction, self-esteem, and relationship conflict. She holds a BA in Psychology and Gender & Sexuality Studies, from CUNY Brooklyn College; MA in Mental Health Counseling, and Advanced Certificate in LGBT Health, Education, & Social Services, from New York University.
