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Neuroscientist says you only need one good and ‘reliable friend in life to be happy
Do you ever worry about how many friends you have? It can be hard not to compare ourselves to others. But take heart. One eminent neuroscientist says you dont need a lot of friends. You only need one.
Maintaining healthy relationships is as important as putting the right food in your body, or loving yourself. Mental health problems can ensue if we mix with the wrong crowds. If you have close friendships with enough people, you might try TikToks 7 Friendship Theory, which involves assigning one of seven categories to each of a group of friends. If you dont, dont worry. Andrew Huberman has words of encouragement.
Neuroscientist says you dont need a ton of friends to stay happy
Music to the ears of anyone who reached their 30s and realized they dont have half as many friends as they had in their early 20s.
Or anyone who turned 40 and realized 90% of the instant messages they send on WhatsApp, Telegram, Instagram, or elsewhere are to just two people.
Why? Because two is enough. One is enough, argues Andrew Huberman, neuroscientist and podcaster.�
I dont think you need a lot of friends, he says. I think you need one really reliable, good friend. Or more, depending on what your needs are.
But the key takeaway is that a strong, healthy relationship with one person is sufficient to keep us buoyed, through thick and thin. Thats what he says, anyway.
Hard times are best shared
I think that as Ive gotten older, Huberman says in a recent episode of the Diary Of A CEO podcast, Ive realized that hard times are best shared with other people.
And the best way to make friends really& is twofold.
The two things Huberman recommends for people struggling to form connections with other humans are as follows:
People with interests are interesting.
Even if its just one thing. Even if its a very niche thing. It could even be a fictional thing. Huberman stresses that its very common for people to find themselves drawn to other people who are passionately interested in something. If nothing else, its something to bring to the conversational table. Watching someone be enthusiastic about something can bring others joy. It can attract them.
Be of service.
If you dont naturally have friendships pouring over you, Huberman advises, be of service. Be the person who sends the good morning text, rather than waiting to receive it.
If somebody never reciprocates, look elsewhere. Send your energy elsewhere. But be the person who checks up on somebody, on a family member or a friend on a regular basis. Be the person of service. Volunteer. You can help people in any number of ways.
Sometimes, time is the thing most worth spending.
Andrew Huberman is an American neuroscientist and podcaster. He is an associate professor of neurobiology and ophthalmology at the Stanford University School of Medicine, and runs the Huberman Lab podcast.
