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Most people are using dating apps wrong, says relationship psychologist
If you aren’t having any luck finding a partner on dating apps, it’s probably because you’re using them wrong.
A dating expert has explained that being successful on Tinder, Bumble and Hinge actually requires more time and effort thank you think.
Most people are using dating apps wrong
Speaking on Steven Bartlett’s Diary Of A CEO podcast, psychologist Dr. Orion Taraban, who specializes in relationships, said that most people are using dating apps wrong as they are too “casual”.
“Most people don’t know how to use dating apps correctly,” he said. “If you try to use dating apps casually, you’re probably going to be infuriated, depressed and hopeless.”
By this, he means that people aren’t putting enough effort in. They log into a dating app fleetingly and swipe aimlessly without any game plan.
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Instead of casually scrolling, you need to have a strategy in place. What are you actually looking for in a partner? What do you want to get out of the dating app? Which app is best to find that?
“Dating apps are tools and you have to adapt your strategy given what that technology is capable of doing,” he continued.
Once you have a strategy and use dating apps�with a certain intention, you should begin to find more success.
How to produce a dating app strategy
The first part of a dating app strategy is working out exactly what you’re looking for, Brook explains. This isn’t so much about your specific type down to hair and eye color, it’s recognizing the general type of person you are looking for.
Do you want a fling or a long-term relationship? Are you looking for someone close to you or long distance? Are there certain deal-breakers you absolutely need in a partner? What qualities would you like them to have?
Once you’ve determined what you’re actually trying to get out of online dating, it’s time to work out which site would be best to find that. Some of the most popular dating apps are Tinder, Grindr, Bumble, Hinge and eHarmony.
Then, it’s time to start matching. It’s important to put time and effort into online dating as otherwise, you’re unlikely to get anything out of it. However, also remember to take breaks as swiping can get draining.
Limit the number of matches you are talking to at one time so you can really get to know the person and work out if they are what you are looking for. Make sure to ask the right questions and be honest with yourself about your relationship needs.
It’s really important to manage your expectations too. Dating is a minefield and it could take a long time to find your match, with many hurdles along the way. Ultimately, remember to have fun with it and don’t stress about finding love.
Dr. Orion Taraban is a psychologist who specializes in relationships. He graduated with a degree in Clinical Psychology from Alliant International University and is best known for his popular podcast PsycHacks.
