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Monk’s tip to prevent suffering in life’s painful moments with simple mindset change
Most people think suffering is inevitable in life, but a Buddhist monk has shared one thing we can all do to stop it.
Pain is the unpreventable part, caused by all kinds of things, from deaths to illnesses and friendship breakdowns, but the mental struggle that usually comes with it can be avoided with one simple mindset change.
Monk says we can all stop suffering
Gelong Thubten, who was ordained as a Tibetan Buddhist monk in 1993, believes that suffering is caused by resistance.
In this context, resistance is “the�refusal to accept or comply with something,” Vocabulary.com explains. The Buddhist belief says removing this resistance will stop the suffering.
“If you rest into the emotion, relax into the emotion, the resistance disappears because you fully embrace how you feel,” Thubten said while speaking to Egyptian entrepreneur, writer and speaker Mo Gawdat.
“When you fully embrace that so-called negative emotion, how is it negative anymore? it’s just energy in your body?”
After taking away that resistance, the negative energy like fear, anger, hatred and unhappiness starts to transform into “joy”.
Pain x Resistance = Suffering
Buddhists put this belief into an equation, saying “Pain x Resistance = Suffering,” Psychologist Leslie Becker-Phelps explained via Psychology Today.
By definition, pain is a “highly�unpleasant physical sensation caused by illness or injury”. When combined with resistance, this causes suffering.
Essentially, it’s the idea that fighting against the reality of the pain you are facing in life is what makes you suffer.
If you stop resisting this pain and accept how you are truly feeling instead, that mental exhaustion and feeling of being at war with yourself will diminish.
5 ways to stop resisting your pain
To do this, Becker-Phelps recommends taking the following five steps:
- Accept your current reality: The first step to remove resistance and stop suffering is to accept your new reality. The distressing thing has happened and no amount of wishing for something different will change that. Instead, face the problem and begin to move on.
- Pay attention to your thoughts: Remember, you are allowed to feel the way you do so don’t brush off any of your emotions. Think about your thoughts and desires and find ways to comfort yourself and cope effectively.
- Be compassionate to yourself: Being hard on yourself or blaming yourself is never the answer. Speak to yourself with compassion, which is an essential part of healing and will help your personal growth.
- Plan for a better future: The pain you are feeling is inevitable and there is nothing you can do about it. However, you shouldn’t feel hopeless because one thing you can do is look forward and plan for a better future.
- Develop a good support network: Having a group of supportive people around who you can talk to, whether it’s family members, friends or work colleagues, will help you get through the pain and accept it.
