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Men have ulterior motive when they say I love you, claims Psychologist
A psychologist has argued that some men have an “ulterior motive” when it comes to saying I love you first, and while those words are often well received, they could be playing you for a fool.
Love might be one of the simplest human emotions, but it’s often the source of so much heartbreak and turmoil in relationships. Regardless of helpful advice from the likes of RuPaul, there’s a reason that most relationships and marriages end in separation.
Why do men say I love you? Not for the reason you think
Most of us want that long-term relationship that will have us looking back with kind eyes and a sense of accomplishment, much like the wife who gushed about her husband earlier this month.
A new poll from Thortful delved into the love lives of people in the UK, with the greeting card company finding that most Brits say those three words within a month.
Men tend to say the three words first, with 19% admitting to saying I love you after just a month together. In contrast, the same amount of women typically wait 3 months.
Unfortunately, it might not be for the reasons you think, as relationship psychologist Mairead Molloy explained: I do think that men tend to say it first before having sex, as it is a way to gain their partner’s trust, and this eases the pathway to sexual activity.
The poll also sought to understand ‘love languages’
Love languages are described as methods of communication that people use to show affection to one another. It was coined by Baptist pastor Gary Chapman in his 1992 book, with the religious expert outlining acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time, words of affirmation, and physical touch as the five official love languages.
Thortful also explored love languages in their poll of British people, finding that 63% enjoy physical touch, 53% words of affirmation, 48% quality time, 32% acts of service, and 21% gift giving.
When your partner knows that you need physical touch, words of affirmation, acts of service, etc. then they can begin to show you love in the ways in which you need them to show you,” Mairead Molloy said.
Of course, in a world of social media and TikTok, people have expanded on the pastor’s original list with love languages of their own. Though they differ greatly between people, popular choices include internet humor, iced coffees, and cute animal videos.
Thortful conducted the poll to celebrate the release of Married at First Sight UK, which premieres on Monday, September 16.
