Credits: Social Media
Majority of ADHD daters feel misunderstood by their matches, Hinge report finds
If youve ever struggled to respond to dating app messages in a timely fashion, or found it difficult to maintain small talk with a match, dont be too hard on yourself.
Dating apps can be a bit of a minefield. Reading about them can be disheartening �one day youre being told youre using them wrong, then youre being warned to watch out for dating app scams. And thats before we get into the negative emotions we feel when facing rejection after rejection& The point is that dating on an app may not be easier than dating in real life, for some people at least. A lack of awareness around ADHD may be one reason why.
Hinge report into ADHD users reveals widespread feelings of being misunderstood
In what it calls a groundbreaking study, Hinge surveyed over 60,000 members of its user base about their experience of using the dating app.
9,000 of them had a clinical ADHD diagnosis.
A massive three-quarters of those with ADHD reported feeling misunderstood by their matches, with two major communication challenges being identified as particularly taxing for matches involving ADHD people.
The first is that people with ADHD often find it difficult to respond to messages quickly. The second is that they often struggle to engage in small talk.
Timely replies, consistent communication, and small talk are considered crucial by many daters to show interest in someone you match with, reads the report.�
But for people with ADHD, navigating these expectations for messaging can feel overwhelming. The upshot is that neurotypical daters find themselves perceiving their ADHD matches as disinterested because this is what their Digital Body Language (DBL) suggests.
What you can do to help as a neurotypical dater
Hinges report encourages users to adjust their expectations, and not to jump to conclusions based on digital communication style.
Logan Ury, Hinges Director of Relationship Science, says theyre asking all daters to rethink how they communicate and set expectations.”
Here are some numbers from the report:
- 43% of Hinge daters with ADHD reported forgetting to respond to matches, leading those matches to feel ignored.
- 32% felt misunderstood when those matches assumed they werent interested due to their slow response time.
- 31% more daters with ADHD than without ADHD reported disliking surface-level, small-talk conversations.
Small talk feels restrictive and unnatural, the report quotes one Hinge user as saying. “I wish there was a better understanding of how ADHD brains work in conversation, and that the things we have been taught to be rude are actually just an ADHDers way of expressing themselves and sharing within a conversation.
Together, Logan Ury says, with empathy and knowledge, we can create more authentic and successful connections.”
I sure hope so, Logan!
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