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Living with your partner before marriage increases likelihood of divorce, lawyer reveals
Studies have shown that those who move in with their partner before marriage are 34% more likely to end up separated, with a divorce lawyer revealing the reasons behind it.
Practically 50% of marriages end in separation, which is exactly why a divorce lawyer earlier compared finding love to winning the lottery. Though it’s always helpful to hear why most marriages fail, you’d think that such sullen statistics would put people off tying the knot altogether.
Why cohabitation often leads to divorce
In decades since past, it was very normal for a couple to live together once they tied the knot, but in the modern age, it tends to be the reverse. Couples often test their true compatibilities during that trial period, before they finally put a ring on it.
But as it turns out, this mindset might actually be hurting love in the long run as 34% of couples who lived together before marriage end up getting divorced, compared to just 22% of couples who did not cohabit before marriage.
Cohabiting before marriage is common these days in a way it wasnt even fifty years ago, and is widely considered a good way to ascertain if a spouse is right for you before tying the knot, said Deepa Tailor from Divorce Lawyers, a firm specializing in family law. Its interesting to think about what these statistics could mean and why we might be seeing this trend.
Thankfully, Deepa shares some tips and tricks for navigating the situation so you don’t end up like the woman with one cruel prenup.
A reason behind the numbers could be selection bias
There are, of course, a plethora of reasons why a couple who cohabit might get divorced, though Deepa said one could be Selection Bias.
Individuals in cohabiting relationships may hold less traditional views about marriage and divorce, such as being less religious, potentially making the dissolution of marriage more acceptable to them, their partner, and their family, she said.
Simply put, the openness to moving in with one another could actually be the very thing to hammer the final nail in the relationship’s coffin. Deepa said that Being more open to moving in means someone would be more open to divorce.
The divorce lawyer also argued that some couples may be pressured into getting married because they have been living with each other for some time. This social pressure could also play into “Sliding vs. Deciding” where you essentially fall into marriage as a pose to actively deciding on it.
Acknowledging that these social expectations can vary greatly across different cultures and communities is crucial, though, she said.
Think through the decision properly
Communication is key in almost all forms of relationship, and your marriage should be no different. Though it’s a natural step that should not be feared, proper understanding is vital to your relationship’s longevity.
Deepa continued: “Couples can mitigate the risks by setting clear expectations about finances, roles, and the future of the relationship before deciding to live together. Maintaining an ongoing dialogue about each partners views on marriage and commitment is also beneficial.
Regular check-ins about how each partner feels can help couples address issues before they become entrenched and bitter. Importantly, decisions about marriage should come from a place of mutual enthusiasm and commitment rather than social pressure or convenience. This way, couples can use the cohabitation period as a constructive time to build a strong, resilient foundation for a potential future marriage.
