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It’s easy to tell if a dying loved one is suffering, hospice nurse explains Credits: Social Media
By Ellissa Bain

It’s easy to tell if a dying loved one is suffering, hospice nurse explains

By Ellissa Bain

When a loved one is dying, you want them to be comfortable and not in pain, but it can be difficult to tell what they are thinking.

In the last days of life, people become less responsive, sleep a lot and don’t talk much, but it’s easy to tell if they are suffering.

healthcare staff caring for a patient in hospital bed
Credit: Cavan Images / Raffi Maghdessian (Getty Images)

How you can tell if a dying person is suffering

Hospice nurse Julie McFadden explained on TikTok that a dying person is similar to a baby. They are non-verbal, but we know when something is wrong with an infant as they cry and whine, are fussy or restless and won’t sleep.

“That is the same for a dying person’s body,” she said. “If they are laying there and they look almost like they are asleep… that will tell us they are comfortable.”

The person may look different to usual. They could be breathing differently, their mouth may be open or their eyes could look strange, but that doesn’t mean they are in pain or suffering, these are just normal parts of the dying process.

If a person is not comfortable in death “they will not just be laying there,” the hospice nurse continued. They could have a furrowed brow, be moaning, seem guarded, wince away when you touch them or appear restless.

“Those are the cues for me as a hospice nurse to know they are probably in pain or something is going on,” she said.

Other signs that a dying person is in pain include grimacing, clenching their teeth, crying, groaning, becoming withdrawn, appearing tense, holding areas of their body, becoming more quiet, not sleeping and getting aggressive, Marie Curie explains.

@hospicenursejulie

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♬ original sound – 💕 Hospice nurse Julie 💕

What to be aware of when a loved one is dying

The death of a loved one can be a scary time, especially if you don’t know what to expect. That’s why the hospice nurse strives to teach people about the dying process, to normalize it and make it less frightening.

As explained by the Hospice Foundation of America, there are many signs that a person is approaching death including:

  • Communication and activity level decreases: The person usually begins to move and speak less, sleeping for longer periods of time.
  • Appetite decreases: They often have a lack of interest in food, sometimes accompanied with a difficulty swallowing.
  • Breathing changes: Breathing can fluctuate and become irregular, with periods of rapid or noisy breathing, followed by no breathing.
  • Body temperature changes: Body temperature can decrease by a degree or more and the persons hand or skin may start to feel cold to the touch.
  • Blood pressure and heart rate decrease: Blood pressure and heart rate can lower, fluctuate and become irregular.
  • Skin changes: The skin can turn purplish, pale, grey, blotchy or mottled and wounds may open as the body weakens.
  • Pain intensifies: Pain could increase due to the progression of disease, worsening of chronic conditions or an increase in pressure wounds to the skin.
  • Cognitive changes: Interest in their surroundings may fade, consciousness can decrease and they may experience illusions, hallucinations, or delusions.

In another video, McFadden explained that dying people often have a specific smell too, which is like “nail polish remover”.