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Four reasons we keep attracting ’emotionally unavailable’ people, broken down by life coach
Whether it’s a romantic partner or a friend, who we attract into our lives has a lot to do with ourselves. If “emotionally unavailable” people are your type, it’s time to break the pattern with a better understanding.
British life coach and media personality, Matthew Hussey, and fellow dating experts discuss different reasons some people are strongly drawn to a problematic personality type and the impact it can have in the long run if nothing’s done about it.
You may be experiencing a ‘scarcity’
Matthew says people who lack emotional support, validation, and attention tend to settle for breadcrumbs by getting attached to qualities that appeal to them in an emotionally unavailable person.
This means that if you have been single for a long time and are having a hard time finding the right partner, the chances of you associating yourself with a person who isn’t as invested in the relationship are still higher. You will overlook the undesirable qualities as long as you have someone in your life.
You could be seeking companionship
Humans are social animals and if companionship becomes the core of your existence, it’s easy to attract people who make decent companions but fail to provide emotional support.
It’s important to weigh the pros and cons by measuring all the qualities a person possesses rather than only focusing on one that serves your needs.
Fear of getting hurt
Some people consciously attract emotionally unavailable humans into their lives as they are scared of taking accountability should it not work out.
Navigating uncertainty becomes easier when you aren’t willing to invest yourself in a relationship. So you may find an emotionally unavailable attractive because they are mostly aloof.
The chase keeps you going
It takes a big hit on self-esteem when you are on the receiving end of rejection. So some people would rather choose to keep chasing an emotionally unavailable person than accept that they don’t feel similarly about them.
They experience a rush of a sort when their efforts are validated and they become noticeable to the person they are chasing. This is one of the biggest reasons that keep you in a relationship with a person who will never meet your needs, but you refuse to give up on it, nevertheless.
