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Don’t shy away from discussing trauma with your partner for a healthy marriage, says pastor
While love and commitment foster healthy relationships, another aspect of life when discussed with your future partner contributes to a long-lasting marriage.
Marriage is a huge milestone full of joy and promises of a happy life together. Despite the beautiful union, men and women tend to make some mistakes that can affect their future, including not being vocal about past trauma.
Pastor says you should be vulnerable with your future partner
Traumatic experiences of the past can take a huge toll on a romantic relationship and marriage, especially when it isn’t discussed with your spouse.
Therefore, pastor and author Sarah Jakes Robert urges couples to ask the “most important question” before getting hitched, even if it makes them uncomfortable.
She was on Lewis Howes’ podcast when the host asked her what is the mandatory question a person should ask their partner before marriage, and she was quick to respond:
“What is the most traumatic experience you’ve had in your life and how does the residue of that experience show up in your present?”
Sarah further explains that showing your vulnerabilities doesn’t necessarily mean that your partner expects you to look at the world differently, it only helps them help you deal with it better.
Secret to a long-lasting marriage
Differences in opinion are one of the most common reasons for failed marriages. But Sarah says, couples can have a long-lasting relationship by redefining “healthy”.
Your idea of a successful marriage may not be the same as the world’s or your parents’ definition of the same, but figuring out what defines your relationship best is the mantra to happiness.
“It’s going to take the strength of both of us to maintain the marriage that we want. It can’t just be a one-sided strength,” she explains.
Sarah Jakes Roberts is a co-pastor at ONE with her husband Tour� Roberts. She is a NY Times best-selling author and businesswoman who has dedicated her life to helping “every soul she encounters evolve into the best version of themselves.”
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