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Diagnosed narcissist’ says trauma bond makes it impossible to leave a toxic relationship
Several victims of a narcissistic relationship admit to finding it extremely hard to leave their toxic partner, often blaming themselves for putting up with their atrocities.
Sadly, a lot of people who have had an experience with someone diagnosed with NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder) or check all the boxes for a toxic partner, fail to realize that it’s not their fault. There’s a strong emotion that keeps them hooked to the unhealthy relationship.
What is a trauma bond?
You have had enough of their nonsense. You finally make up your mind. But, you find yourself struggling to breathe at the thought of leaving them. Why? The Bat Wolf says you’re not to blame as “trauma bond” has done a number on you.
For the unversed, a trauma bond is an emotional attachment between the narcissist and their victim, born out of the highs and lows. People with NPD are notorious for love bombing and withdrawing, creating a rollercoaster of emotions, often leaving the victims confused.
When your mind and body experience intense drastic emotions, they are often conditioned to crave it in its absence. When someone finally decides to leave the toxic relationship, they experience withdrawal symptoms of some sort and get sucked back into the relationship.
Effects of trauma bond are worse when a narcissist tries to hoover you back into the relationship when they realize they’ve lost a “supply”. It almost feels like an addiction that’s impossible to get over.
‘Diagnosed narcissist’s’ advice to break the attachment
Self-aware narcissist The Bat Wolf explains that the victims of a narcissistic relationship are so used to the breadcrumbs that they can’t imagine a life beyond their toxic partner and come to believe they can only make them “feel so good.”
They withhold affection as a punishment and reward you when you do what they expect. When deprived of affection, the bare minimum is enough to get a dopamine rush.
The diagnosed narcissist says the only way to break the trauma bond is by walking out of the relationship and cutting all contact with your toxic partner. It’s hard, but not impossible when you compare what little good they’ve done versus the not-so-pleasant experiences.
“The only way for you to break this vicious cycle is to get away from the narcissist and the puppet master who has been pulling your string all this while,” The Bat Wolf suggests. He emphasizes that people who are trauma-bonded to a toxic person confuse attachment with love.
“Get the narcissist out of your mind and you’ll eventually get back to normal real,” he says. TikTok user The Bat Wolf is a self-aware narcissist , working towards bringing more awareness to the mental health condition. He also offers one-on-one coaching to heal from toxic relationships.
