Dating coach offers 10 useful questions to ask your partner – but jokes it may ‘start fights’

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By Bruno Cooke

18 June 2024

TikTok dating coach Jeff Guenther, aka Therapy Jeff, has given his rundown of 10 questions you could ask your partner, and which might lead to some very interesting and informative discussions, but which may also cause a fight.

The topics they cover run the gamut from going long distance to switching ones political or religious affiliation.�Exactly what you want to bring up in a new relationship, right?

TikTok dating coach offers 10 would you stay with me if& questions

10 questions he suggests may cause a fight, especially if not asked sensitively. But, 10 questions that might also lead to the emergence of some really valuable information.

I dont know, Jeff says. Choose chaos. His questions all follow the Would you stay with me if& format, and run as follows. 

Would you stay with me if:

1. I changed my political affiliation?
2. I wanted to be physically intimate 50% less often, or 75% less often?
3. I had to move 3,000 miles away for a year, meaning wed be in a long-distance relationship?
4. I changed my mind about having kids with you?
5. I told you that I cheated on you once at the beginning of our relationship (but never did it again because I felt so horrible)?
6. I became either devoutly religious or devoutly atheist?
7. I decided to stop using social media and swap my smartphone for a dumb phone and I need you to do the same?
8. I decided to quit my job, take out a loan, go back to school and pursue a PhD for five years?
9. I wanted to become a social media influencer and podcaster sharing personal stories about our relationship and time together?
10. I became really good friends with someone you hated, like your arch nemesis?

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Well now Im single&

The reactions from his followers are mixed. Some have taken the task seriously, and used it an opportunity to reflect on their own boundaries and hard lines. 

Others celebrate Jeffs philosophy of choosing chaos.

One offered a piece of personal experience, saying they have had most of this already in their relationship, and they are still with their partner. So I dont think the other things would end it.

Still others have been pointing out which scenarios they imagine would be most difficult to resolve, while one writes that, while they dont want to flex, 2, 3 and 8 have already happened in their relationship and I got nothing but support. Finally, one commented simply, well now Im single&

Find the video below.

@therapyjeff

Pre-order my book BIG DATING ENERGY coming out july 9. Join me in Patreon to hear my asnwers. therapy mentalhealth relationshiptips dating relationshiptips couplesquestions Would you stay with me if: 1. I changed my political affiliation to the other side? 2. I wanted to be physically intimate with you 50% less often? How about 75% less often? 3. I had to move somewhere 3000 miles away for a year, which meant we’d be in a long-distance relationship? 4. I changed my mind about having kids with you, wanting the opposite of what we originally planned. 5. I told you that I cheated on you once at the start of the relationship but never did it again because I felt horrible. 6. I either became devoutly religious or devoutly atheist. 7. I decided to stop using social media and get rid of my smartphone. In fact, I’m only going to use a dumb phone, and I need you to do the same, or I won’t stay with you. 8. I decided to quit my job, take out a huge loan, go back to school, and pursue a PhD that would take five years to complete. 9. I wanted to become a social media influencer and podcaster, sharing personal stories that often come from our relationship and time together. 10. I became really good friends with someone you hated. Like your arch nemesis or something.

♬ original sound – TherapyJeff

Who is Jeff Guenther, aka Therapy Jeff?

Guenther is an LPC, or licensed professional counselor. 

On TikTok, he goes by the moniker Therapy Jeff. 

He was educated at San Diego State University and the University of Southern California. His website states that he earned his masters degree in family therapy. He runs a private practice in Portland, Oregon.

Over the past few days, he has been promoting his upcoming book, Big Dating Energy. It is available for preorder from several major online retailers and bookstores.

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