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4 things a narcissist does to chip away at your confidence, psychologist says
Every narcissist – no, we aren’t talking about a selfish or a self-centered person – says just the thing to make you question anything you do, and it seems people with this personality disorder learn their conniving ways from the same textbook.
Even though an average human can have some narcissistic traits, they don’t qualify for NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder). This article focuses on things a narcissist with a real mental condition says not to lose control over others in an interpersonal relationship, especially a romantic partner. The narcissist could also be your mother, friend, or sibling. They all use the same tricks to get what they want.
5 things a narcissist says to shatter your confidence
Psychologist Dr. David Clarke discusses specific remarks that narcissist makes to belittle their victim, by chipping away at their self-esteem and confidence. The words they use are nothing short of an abuse, neither are the mind games they play.
“You rarely meet my expectations”
Narcissists are the biggest hypocrites. They may never keep up with your expectations, but that doesn’t stop them from being extremely highly critical of you when you fail to do what they want.
Truth be told, you can never know what people with the personality trait want because they will never stop pushing you to feed their ego when they watch you fail.
Sarcasm is their second language
It’s impossible to express your emotions to a narcissist. Anything you say will be held against you in different situations, or they gaslight you with snarky remarks or sarcasm thus making you question your feelings.
“You’re too sensitive”, “why do you have to be so dramatic,” or “I wouldn’t criticize if you changed”, are only some of the things they always say to make you feel insignificant.
“You’re on your own”
Any relationship with a narcissist is transactional. They believe you can “never meet” their needs, so they couldn’t be bothered about yours. If you expect them to look out for you, they will criticize you for expecting the bare minimum and not doing enough to keep them happy.
“I refuse to communicate”
This is perhaps one of the most popular abuse methods narcissists use to punish you, by simply refusing to talk. They will not just turn a blind eye to the problem but resort to silent treatment, so there’s no communication between the two of you, whatsoever. They refuse to open up and share their emotions, so there’s no depth to the connection you share.
This forces the victim to overthink, blame themselves, and worse, accept the situation as is, just to ensure the narcissist in their life talks to them again.
Dr. David Clarke is a Christian psychologist and author, with his work focusing on narcissism and all aspects of the mental disorder. He’s a graduate of Dallas Theological Seminary and Western Conservative Baptist Seminary and holds a PhD, with over thirty-five years of private practice.
