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4 selfish behaviors of narcissists that others ‘don’t think are important’�
Everything a narcissist does is driven by selfishness. They wouldn’t put others before them, under any circumstance, unless it serves them, sooner or later.
They know exactly what to do or say to get their way. If a narcissist happens to be nice to you or behaves naive, it’s likely a well-calculated manipulative tactic. There are certain behaviors they show while being outrightly selfish, that a normal human would find unsettling or hard to relate to.
4 selfish behaviors of a narcissist
Every mental health condition has its unique challenges. People with antisocial personality disorders such as narcissism, sociopathy, and psychopathy do not think and function like any average human, which makes it more difficult to deal with them.
They are reputed to using gaslighting and manipulation to take advantage of others and their selfish desires stem from a lack of empathy. Therefore, awareness is key to avoiding narcissists or dealing with them if you are stuck in a toxic relationship.
They are indifferent to someone else’s struggles
Psychotherapist and award-winning author Dr. Erin Leonard explains four things narcissists prioritize that don’t matter to an emotionally intelligent human, including their disinterest in someone else’s problems.
They are so self-centered that they can be extremely indifferent and oblivious to the pain and sorrow of their close ones. She says they “take care of themselves first and foremost”, not too bothered by someone else’s needs.
They prioritize their appearance
Narcissists are full of themselves. They feed on external validation, which requires them to look a certain way.
What do they do? Invest a lot of time and energy into creating an image about themselves and acquiring material possessions that earn a lot of attention and validation.
They avoid discussing real emotions
Narcissists are incapable of having a conversation about real emotions for multiple reasons – they can’t take accountability, they don’t process emotions like normal humans, and they hate grappling with uncomfortable emotions.
They avoid touching on the topic altogether, thus leaving their partner with invalidated feelings. “They fight it off at every turn,” says Dr. Erin.
They will ‘love bomb’ you when in trouble
An emotionally intelligent person would use adversity to reflect on their actions and to look at a problem for what it is; a narcissist does the opposite.
They don’t deal with rejection well and when they realize they are in trouble, they resort to love bombing or hoovering techniques to suck you back into the toxic relationship.
“They don’t authentically love you. You’re a possession they want to keep, they want to control,” says the psychotherapist. Dr. Erin discusses more of their troubling behaviors in detail in the video linked above.
Dr. Erin Leonard has been a practicing psychotherapist for 20 years. She has authored several books including one titled How to Outsmart a Narcissist. She was awarded the title of worldwide leader in healthcare and was inducted into The International Association of Healthcare Providers in 2018.
