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10 signs you’re in a toxic relationship and should probably end things, from a therapist
You may love your partner, but are they actually good for you? Many of us are living in toxic relationships – and there are some telltale signs.
Psychotherapist Natalie Buchwald, who is an expert in relationships, has shared 10 red flags that you are in an unhealthy coupling and should probably end things.
10 signs you’re in a toxic relationship
A toxic relationship is one that is unhealthy and not good for you. That could be for all kinds of reasons, such as your partner being controlling, belittling or providing a lack of support. This is mentally, emotionally, and physically damaging to one or both people.
“Its easy to put on rose-tinted glasses, especially at the start of a relationship, Buchwald said. “We all want to believe our partners have our best interests at heart. But that can make it more challenging to identify the signs that a relationship is toxic.”
However, it’s important to pick up on the red flags and know when someone isn’t good for you. These are the signs:
1. Gaslighting
One common signal that your relationship is toxic is gaslighting, a form of emotional abuse where your partner manipulates you into questioning and doubting your feelings.
2. Constant criticism
If your other half is constantly criticizing you and lowering your self-esteem, that’s another sign things are toxic, such as your appearance, behaviors, beliefs or abilities.
3. Disrespecting your boundaries
Everyone has boundaries in a relationship that they don’t want to cross, and if your lover disrespects those, that’s a major red flag.
4. Emotional manipulation
Another sign things are unhealthy is emotional manipulation, where someone makes you feel guilty for wanting reasonable things.
5. Mood swings and unpredictability
Different moods are part of life, but toxic people have a tendency to be unpredictable, leaving you feeling like you dont know what’s going to happen next.
6. Love bombing
Love bombing at the start of a relationship is another red flag, when someone lures you in with excessive compliments, attention and affection as a form of control.
7. Jealousy
A little bit of jealousy is normal, but toxic partners may get jealous for not reason or wrongly accuse you of cheating.
8. Keeping score
Keeping score is a negative sign in a relationship, creating competition as you begin to compare things and tally who has done worse.
9. Pressure to change
Helping your other half better themselves is a great thing, but constantly pressuring to change is an unhealthy and controlling behavior.
10. Inconsistent affection
Finally, if your partner if showing you loads of affection one day and ignoring you the next, that’s could be a sign things are toxic.
Natalie Buchwald is a psychotherapist who founded Manhattan Mental Health Counseling, a therapy clinic in New York which helps people towards greater mental health and wellness.
