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What happened to Connor Murphy? YouTube fitness guru worries fans

Bruno Cooke May 26, 2021
what happened to connor murphy


Fitness and social experiment YouTube personality Connor Murphy has sparked concern among his fans and followers in recent weeks – not for the first time – regarding his mental and/or physical health. So, what happened to Connor Murphy?

YouTuber Connor Murphy’s uploads are different from normal

Connor Murphy is a YouTuber and Instagram personality. 

He currently has 459K followers on Instagram and over 2.4M subscribers on YouTube.

However, a number of his recent uploads have veered away from familiar social experiment territory.

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One, dated 1 April, is titled Drinking My Own urine in Public, while another, dated 5 May, is about what Murphy calls an ayahuasca “Megadose”.

What happened to Connor Murphy?

But Murphy’s two most recent YouTube uploads have caused particular consternation among his fans and followers.

Entitled RIP Connor Murphy and Connor Murphy’s Final Words both videos suggest that Connor Murphy has died.

The pinned comment on the former video even contains the line, “Connor Murphy has committed suicide”. However, there are no formal obituaries to speak of or anything else to confirm this.

Meanwhile the latter video shows the YouTuber lying back on what looks like a bed, surrounded by cuddly toys. He half recites, half sings an unrecognisable, seemingly cryptic poem or song, while glancing occasionally into the camera.

The enigmatic lines of his poem are available to read in the caption to the video.

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What’s up with Connor Murphy?

A post in the subreddit r/OutOfTheLoop titled What’s Up With Fitness YouTuber Connor Murphy contains a lengthy fan discussion about what might have happened to the 26-year-old Texan.

Reddit user Apprehensive_Past573, who claims to be a psychiatric nurse practitioner, made various suggestions.

Some pertain to Murphy’s alleged consumption of ayahuasca, others to previous occasions on which Murphy has been admitted to hospital.

However, as the aforementioned user is not Connor’s doctor, these suggestions remain just that – a concerned fan’s opinion.

What is ayahuasca? Is Connor OK?

Ayahuasca, illegal in the UK, US and many other countries, is a blend of two plants which, when ingested, cause hallucinations and what some call “ego dissolution” or “ego death”.

Such phenomena may to some extent explain Murphy’s uploads about dying.

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CASERIO NUEVA LUZ DE FATIMA , PERU – APRIL 30: Banisteriopsis caapi leaves (usually known as Ayahuasca) on April 30, 2018 in Pucallpa, Peru. Indigenous communities of the Amazon use ayahuasca for spiritual rituals. (Photo by Manuel Medir/Getty Images)

A year ago, Connor posted Yes, I’m Alive. And I’m Sorry to his YouTube channel. 

In the video, he discusses his consumption of ayahuasca, as well as an apparent diagnosis of “drug induced psychosis vs bipolar disorder”.

Both of these give credence to the Reddit discussion, linked above, about the possible connection between the two. However, this is not confirmation of what is currently happening to Murphy.

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How have Connor’s followers reacted to ‘RIP Connor Murphy’?

Connor Murphy’s latest uploads to Instagram and YouTube have upset and confused many of his followers.

Numerous users have expressed their grievances at Connor’s change of character. One wrote, “You inspired a lot of us! Hope one day you can do it again!”

One user on YouTube wrote, “he was my Motivation to go Gym and make a Solid Body, Go shirtless in public. Now today I saw this video In my Recommendations 😭 What happend (sic) to him? is he ok?”

A comment from a day ago on his second to last Instagram post perhaps best encapsulates how people are reacting to Connor Murphy’s current uploads.

It reads: “praying for you today Connor Murphy, hopefully today will be a little easier. i don’t know quite how to respond anymore.”

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Bruno is a novelist, amateur screenwriter and journalist with interests in digital media, storytelling, film and politics. He’s lived in France, China, Sri Lanka and the Philippines, but returned to the UK for a degree (and because of the pandemic) in 2020. His articles have appeared in Groundviews, Forge Press and The Friday Poem, and most are readable on Medium or