G&T lovers, have you heard the news? HM The Queen has brought out her own small-batch gin, made from Buckingham Palace botanicals. Fellow Royal palace, Holyroodhouse in Edinburgh, already has its own whisky, so it was about time really.

The aim is to raise funds for the Royal Collection Trust, but you can see why a little regal spirit might be popular as the country eases out of lock-down. Word is, the Queen enjoys hers with a fortified wine called Dubonnet, something that half the country had no idea existed until this week.

The weird and wonderful world of the celebrity-branded product can swing between a passing endorsement to actually designing and making their own clothing/beauty/sauce range.

Here are some of the best, the worst, and the downright wacky…

Trump Steaks

When it comes to Donald Trump, it’s hard to pick a mis-fired business venture. He’s had quite a few in his time – 24 out of his 61 business proposals were outright failures, according to The New York Times.

For sheer comedic value though, it has to be Trump Steaks. The range of frozen meat-cuts was launched in 2007 in a partnership with American retailer Sharper Image, and the brand didn’t survive the year.

With slogans like ‘when it comes to great steaks, I’ve just raised the stakes’, and packaging featuring the man himself pointing at a platter of meat, it’s clear Trump’s self-proclaimed salesmanship has its limits.

 

Newman’s Own

Newman's Own Salsa
“Newman’s Own Salsa, Hot, 9/2014 by Mike Mozart of TheToyChannel and JeepersMedia on YouTube #Newman’s #Own #Salsa” by JeepersMedia is licensed under CC BY 2.0

Lloyd Grossman sauces? Sure. Paul Newman salad dressing? More credible than it sounds.

The Hollywood actor apparently used to intrigue friends at the dinner table by mixing his own salad dressing when out at a restaurant. A batch of well-received homemade Christmas gifts later, and Newman decided to set up a company that would make tasty food products, and give everything to charity. 35 years later, and Newman’s Own has donated $550million to worthy causes and is still going strong on these principles, even after Newman’s death in 2008.

Flower Home

Drew Barrymore’s line in home décor is actually pretty tasteful, and since it sells via Walmart, you don’t necessarily have to re-mortgage your house to afford it.

Products include Art Deco oven gloves, bird-print plates, and foliage-fresh bedding, and the promo pics even have the actor matching her dress to her own wallpaper design. Now that’s dedication to the brand.

Danny DeVito’s Premium Limoncello

HOLLYWOOD, CALIFORNIA - DECEMBER 09: Danny DeVito attends the premiere of Sony Pictures' "Jumanji: The Next Level" on December 09, 2019 in Hollywood, California. (Photo by Axelle/Bauer-Griffin/FilmMagic)
HOLLYWOOD, CALIFORNIA – DECEMBER 09: Danny DeVito attends the premiere of Sony Pictures’ “Jumanji: The Next Level” on December 09, 2019 in Hollywood, California. (Photo by Axelle/Bauer-Griffin/FilmMagic)

 …is a real thing, and reportedly quite good.

This celebrity brand has probably the best origin story: a drunken appearance on American talk show The View in 2006, when DeVito admitted he’d had one too many limoncellos. Notoriety definitely helped him successfully launch his own lemon-flavoured Italian liqueur four years later. It even has a scratch-and-sniff label, along with a theme song that has to be heard to be believed.

Goop

How could we not talk about a celebrity passion project that brought us treats we never knew we needed, such as vagina-scented candles?

Described as ‘a modern lifestyle brand’, Gwyneth Paltrow’s infamous blog, books and podcast launched a thousand detoxes. The ethos is all about ‘wellness’ through clean-eating, mindful living and er… vibrators, but your wallet might feel a bit under the weather after purchasing a few rounds of $30 quince tea and $100+ microderm exfoliators.

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