Credits: Social Media
The real reason why you cringe so hard when you see old social media posts
There’s nothing worse than seeing an old picture of yourself on social media, or an embarrassing post you shared years ago.
You scroll past it as quickly as possible, hoping it never sees the light of day again – or tap delete if it’s something you posted yourself. I’ve had my fair share of moments like this, and it got me thinking – why do we cringe so hard?
The real reason you cringe at old social media posts
We spoke to psychotherapist Kristie Tse, who told The Focus when we look back at these social media pots, we’re reminded of a time when we were less polished and still figuring things out.
“It’s like seeing a rough draft of yourself, before the final edit,” she said. “Our brains are wired to focus on flaws and mistakes, a habit that probably stems from our desire to improve and fit in.”
We remember the insecurities we felt back then and it brings them rushing back, even if weve long moved past them.
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The brain has a negative bias that causes us to focus on bad things, Verywell Mind explains. It means we are always more likely to notice negative things, criticizing the way we looked or acted years ago, rather than seeing the positives.
5 reasons why we hate seeing old photos
Educational psychologist Aneal Bharath told The Focus there are five reasons why we hate seeing old photos of ourselves on social media.
1. Self-Discrepancy Theory
First, it’s down to self-discrepancy theory, which is when individuals compare their actual self to ideal standards or what they think they should be like.
It says our self-perception evolves as we grow and has three components: the actual self (who we believe we are), the ideal self (who we wish to be), and the ought self (who we think we should be).
“When looking at old photos, the gap between our past self and our current or ideal self becomes glaringly obvious, causing discomfort,” he said. “For instance, seeing a picture from a time when we were less mature.”
2. Psychological Growth and Maturity
Another reason why we cringe at old photos and posts is because as we mature, our values, beliefs, and self-perceptions change.
“This growth is a normal part of development, but it can also mean that past behaviors, fashions, or attitudes that once seemed acceptable now feel embarrassing,” the expert said.
This contrast between our past and present selves can make old photos difficult to look at without a sense of cringe, and it’s a reminder of our own personal evolution.
3. Memory Reconstruction and Nostalgia
Another issue is that memory isn’t a static thing, it’s a reconstruction. When we look at old photos, we dont just see the image, we relive the context, emotions, and insecurities of that time.
“Nostalgia can be bittersweet, often bringing back both good and bad memories. We might remember past anxieties or social faux pas, which adds to the cringeworthy feeling,” Bharath continued.
4. Social Comparison and Self-Criticism
As humans, we constantly compare ourselves to others, and this comparison doesnt stop when we look at our own past. The standards of beauty, success, and other behavior is always evolving through the years, and influenced by social trends.
“Seeing our past selves might not measure up to current standards, leading to self-criticism and embarrassment,” he explained.
5. Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive dissonance also plays a role, which is when there is a conflict between our current beliefs or values and our past actions. Seeing an old photo can trigger this dissonance, especially if our views have significantly changed.
“This internal conflict can make us cringe because it forces us to reconcile our past with our present identity,” the counsellor said.
Next time you see an old photo, don’t be so hard on yourself!
Kristie Tse is a New York-based psychotherapist who provides compassionate, effective therapy at Uncover Mental Health Counseling.
Aneal Bharath is a licensed educational psychologist and relationship counsellor who currently works as a school counsellor in the Cayman Islands.
