Credits: Social Media
What it really means when a guy says he ‘doesn’t want to hurt’ you, according to a dating coach
You meet someone, and the two of you hit it off. You go on a couple of dates; he has the nicest things to say about you.
When the time comes to have the “real talk” and ask the age-old question – Where do you see this going? He responds: “I don’t want to hurt you”. If you are on the receiving end of this phrase ever, run for the hills, girl.
What it really means when he says he ‘doesn’t want to hurt you’
Anybody who has played the field is familiar with the ever-recurring phrases in the dating world: “I don’t want to hurt you” and “I don’t want you to wait for me.”
In one of his most recent videos, dating and relationship coach, Matthew Hussey, breaks down the phrase that’s found its way into most movies, television shows, and now, your personal life.
Instead of beating your brains over what he means when he says he doesn’t want to hurt you, listen to what the expert says and save yourself the heartache. Matthew assures the guy “will hurt you” if he keeps going.
And when he says, he doesn’t want you to wait, be prepared to waste a lot of your time because the timeline for it is “very long or never.” Perhaps you’ve interpreted his words incorrectly by assuming he’s looking out for your feelings or intends to do the “honorable thing” – because he isn’t and never will.
This essentially means you’re doomed to hurt as he has made it clear that you shouldn’t have any hopes of a future together. If someone tells you this, listen to them because they are being honest and move on to someone who will never hurt you instead.
Change your mindset, says the dating coach
Changing your mindset when stuck in a situation will give you immense clarity and make you realize your worth. In a different video, he suggests thinking differently for your own good.
It starts with the realization that the situation is not equal. Both of you may be seeing others while dating each other, but his reasons are different from yours. Just because you’re waiting for the emotionally unavailable guy despite dating others doesn’t mean he expects the same out of the situation.
Be honest about the risk so you know what you’re getting into and think if it’s worth waiting for. A guy who has explicitly told you he isn’t ready to commit will never commit.
Thirdly, ask yourself if you really want to invest in someone who can’t be present for you, while you giving way more than what you get.
Then comes exclusivity. Do you think it’s worth waiting for someone not ready to make your relationship exclusive? This only means one thing – they aren’t seeing your worth.
Don’t settle for too little or something that has no potential to materialize into anything meaningful. You may as well move on and make yourself available for those willing to invest as much as you.
And by doing this, not only are you allowing yourself to experience a potential relationship, but the person who didn’t deserve you will realize what they lost and maybe even come back.
Matthew Hussey is a British life coach and YouTube personality, best known for his videos about dating and relationships.
He is the author of the New York Times Bestseller, Get The Guy: Learn Secrets of the Male Mind to Find The Man You Want and the Love You Deserve, and boasts several television appearances including a matchmaker role on NBCs Ready for Love.
