Credits: Social Media
Why being told what to do ‘irritates your soul’, explained by a psychiatrist
When someone tells you to do something, does that make you not want to do it? If you answered yes, you’re not the only one.
It’s a phenomenon that loads of us experience in everyday life, and a psychiatrist has explained why we hate being told what to do.
Why you hate being told what to do
The concept is called Demand Avoidance, Dr. Jaleel Mohammed said in a TikTok video, which is the resistance to doing something that is requested or expected of you.
We can all experience this from time to time. For example, if your boss tells you to complete a task, or your mum asks you to wash the dishes. However in some people, particularly those with autism, demand avoidance can be very severe.
In these cases, it’s called Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA), which causes people to have extreme reactions to common requests or requirements. For example, people may refuse to eat or sleep simply because they have been told to do it by another individual.
The PDA Society describes it as “resisting and avoiding the ordinary demands of life” and having a need for control.
Mohammed explained that Demand Avoidance is believed to be more common in people with anxiety about uncertainty, and may be a “subconscious way to try to reduce anxiety by remaining in control”.
‘I totally get this’
In the comments, people are sharing their real-life experiences of Demand Avoidance, and how much being told what to do aggravates them.
One person wrote: “Totally get this, it’s the reason why I set up my own business. It’s a horrible feeling.”
“Especially if you were going to do it anyway, then someone tells you. Sends me into a rage,” said another.
A third person added: “It feels like my choice has been taken away from me. I’d rather feel like it’s my choice to do something.”
“Got it! It irritates my soul being told what to do,” someone else agreed.
Reacting to loss of freedom
A concept called Psychological Reactance also has a role, which is the way people act when their freedom is taken away, the American Psychological Association explains.
Individuals enjoy their freedom, choice, and autonomy, and feel threatened when this is removed. In reaction, Psychological Reactance occurs as people try to restore their free choice, which can present itself in many different ways.
For example, when someone is coerced into a certain behavior, they could express anger, anxiety or resistance to complete a certain task. Often, people will do the complete opposite of what they have been told or asked, and it’s a natural psychological response.
Dr. Jaleel Mohammed is a Consultant Forensic Psychiatrist who has worked across mental health services in London and South-East England. He also prepares expert witness psychiatric reports for courts and tribunals, and gained his Bachelor of Medicine from the University of Birmingham.
