
Matchmaking service reveals the most desirable qualities men look for in a partner
A matchmaker outlined a few qualities men rank as the most important when they look for a potential partner.
To better understand what men are looking for in a relationship, The Focus spoke to our resident matchmaking expert, Barbie Adler. After leaving a successful recruitment career, Barbie started Selective Search as a platform for helping extraordinary people find love.

Trait #1: Enthusiasm
Through her experience at Selective Search, Barbie has been able to identify some of the key personality traits that are the most desirable to both men and women.
Firstly, she said that men are drawn to enthusiastic women who are unafraid to try new experiences. But dont worry, this doesnt have to include swimming with sharks or sky diving.
Barbie explained: They want someone who has an openness to experiences of all kinds, from trying new foods to visiting new places to discovering hobbies as a couple.
Though Barbie said that enthusiasm and adventure keep a relationship fresh, she also argued that upbeat people are simply great to be around.
While comfort and familiarity are certainly important elements in any long-term relationship, many of the men Ive worked with have expressed a desire to be with someone who is willing to leave their comfort zone to keep the relationship vibrant and fresh, she added.
Trait #2: Responsiveness

While it might not be the first trait that springs to most peoples minds when thinking about qualities in a partner, responsiveness is one of the most commonly cited traits among our clients, Barbie said.
The matchmaker further revealed that responsiveness is most desired by older singles or those who have experienced a divorce. With first-hand experience on what happens when communication breaks down, divorced hopefuls tend to have a special awareness of how critical responsiveness and communication skills are.
A responsive partner is someone who takes a genuine and abiding interest in your life and is always willing to engage you in meaningful conversation, she added. Responsive and engaged partners help you feel truly seen, heard, and valued, which are some of the major signs that you are in a healthy and intimate relationship.
Trait #3: Compassion

One of the other qualities that men look for in a partner is compassion, which Barbie said should be an essential ingredient in any relationship.
She explained: A compassionate person not only elevates your greatest highs, but is there with you for your lowest lows, and they treat difficulties as the building blocks for an even stronger partnership in the future.
Part of what we seek out in a relationship is a person who recognizes us for who we truly are and works with us rather than against us, and compassionate people do just that.
Our male clients frequently rank compassion near the top of a list of their most desirable qualities, as it helps them feel secure in the long-term strength of the relationship.